One honor killing is a tragedy, many others are just statistics

Saturday, April 7, 2007

In this country, women are officially categorized in two groups: good women (those worthy of respect) and bad women (those deserving every bad action, even killing)

ELİF ŞAFAK

   We live in a country that forbids his daughters love.  A country that punishes, consumes and causes its young girls to fade away just because they fall in love, bear a brave and crazy heart, act through their heart, can dream and nourish hope.  Dozens of young women are murdered in this country every year, by their elder full brothers, younger brothers, cousins and fathers. They wither away in the springtime of their lives. And we, who live in the other parts of the country, that is those “who are far away”, utter one or two pitying sounds and continue to live with indifference as if all this were “some local problems” and nothing else. Yet, honor killings cannot be explained or solved either through ethnicity or locality, or with the approach that “there is a village out there somewhere, we don t go there, therefore it s not ours”. 

  In essence, this predicam ent has news value for the media; its real significance originates from there. One or two large photographs, alongside a hastily narrated story focusing on and exploring the victim rather than the murderer. That is all. And politicians? They do not care. How many members of the parliament are sincerely ready to challenge this dreadful wound with sufficient will and determination?  The parliament does not act fast and consistently enough, does not even consider it necessary.  As the MPs are delayed, new murders are committed day by day. Apart from exceptional organizations such as KAMER operating with immense self-sacrifice and on an entirely voluntary basis, no one is willing to extend a hand to the victims of honor killings. Young women who need help and guidance the most, young women who are the least educated and allowed to be educated, young women who have no money, no backer, no supporter are left helpless and alone. They are nothing but a figure in the statistics.

A nuisance for ‘some bad women ?:

  Emerging amidst this turmoil, the Cultural Affairs Director of Şanlıurfa obliged us with a definition of honor killing. Finally we can feel comfy. It appears that we had nothing to worry about. Because, according to the definition “Honor killings apply only to those who run away without informing their families, who deceive their husbands, and not to the innocent.” Meaning that honor killings are a nuisance for “some bad women” only. Kind-hearted and honorable Turkish women sitting sensibly at home and raising children should not feel sorry for their sisters murdered young. They should not feel the sorrow of others in their own hearts. Because, women are officially categorized in two groups: good women (those worthy of respect) and bad women (those deserving every bad action, even killing).

  Really, who are these bad women? How do we recognize them? Do they roar with sour and disgusting laughter, in a sassy manner, as in the old Turkish movies? Could we trace them back from there?  Really, who, with what right and in what capacity decides on which women are “good” and which are “bad”? Who, by sorting out human beings, condescendingly, as the “whites” and “blacks”, holding a ruler in hand, exercise the power and authority to decide who is not innocent, therefore, deserves violence?   Under what right men can judge, attach stigma, externalize, exteriorize and furthermore, sign the death warrant of young people?

Denial is no solution:

  Even taking the trouble to read the reports on honor killings of the last three years gives enough idea. Each tragedy is narrated there. Antep, Mardin, Diyarbakır, Istanbul, Berlin.... these murdered girls, these women are, in fact, a disgrace to us all, the grief of us all. As if it was not enough not to let them live, not to enable them to live, how could one explain the insinuation made behind there backs that they were “bad women”, how could one have such a conscience?  

  It is quite a natural and understandable call on the part of Şanlıurfa s administrators to love their city and try to make it known better. They may feel uneasy when the city s name is being remembered in association with honor killings, they may be right in that. But the road to change this murky situation does not pass through trying to cover up the problem by means of ornamented words, accusing the victims and doing as if.  Denying the existence of honor killings, and, if any, using words such as “I don t care, there is no need to exaggerate” to make it look like as if “it were the problem of some bad women” neither makes anyone s conscience clear nor benefits Şanlıurfa or Turkey.

  Honor killings, are a serious, profound and widespread problem we have to address adequately, let alone one that we are exaggerating. It hurts us all, is of interest to us all, but would decrease if we all act with common sense and conscience, and disappear one day for good from this land, diminishing and decaying day by day.