• How do you feel about others writing articles or giving lectures about you?

You see, I want my “fiction”, that is to say, my “writing” to be talked about, not myself personally. I want my books to be visible but as for myself I’d rather be invisible. Oftentimes the world of literature and culture is more “writer-centered” than “writing-centered”. I’d rather have it the opposite way around.

• Can you tell me a little more about your mother, and how she influenced you? If the same is relevant about your father, I would like to know too. Are they proud of you? Is anyone important to you not?

I was raised by an independent, single mother. A daughter and a mother. This is how we spent many years, traveling together. I have not seen my father for many years and the fact that I did not grow up in a more typical, patriarchal Turkish family has had a big impact on my character and my writing. I have a lot of respect for my mother. Ever since I was small I grew up seeing the struggle she had to give as a single mother, as a divorcee. It wasn’t easy. 

• For those who haven´t read ´Black Milk´ (yet); can you briefly describe how you managed to (re)find your freedom/destination/way in being a mother? Does something similar also relate to getting married? How did you imagine your future to be when you where a child?

After the birth of my daughter, I suffered from a long and draining depression. I didn’t know how to harmonize motherhood and writing. For the first time in my adult life, I stopped writing and lost faith in words. It lasted almost ten months. And during that time I had lots of feelings of guilt, bewilderment and anxiety.

Today, there are two seemingly different, albeit complementary, attitudes toward motherhood. On the one hand, there is the view that motherhood is the most sacred thing that can occur to a woman. In this traditional approach, motherhood is romanticized and idealized. On the other hand, there is also the view that contemporary women can have it all—they can be perfect career women, perfect mothers, perfect everything. None of these approaches deals honestly with the multiple effects that childbearing has upon women.

• Has becoming a mother made you more fearful? Do you consider that a bad or limiting thing?

I think becoming a mother made me a less nomadic person and more peaceful and harmonious inside. I consider motherhood a wonderful experience in itself. However I also think that women, especially independent minded women need to give birth to themselves and reconstruct themselves all over after they become mothers. Things change with motherhood and one needs to adjust to change.

• I understand you have grown up in a diplomat surrounding, which has (amongst others) exposed you to different countries. Has this at some point given you opportunities others might not have had and/or did it pose you with issues you had to deal with in order to find your current position, both mentally and materially?

I was born in Strasbourg and lived in Madrid, Cologne, Amman, Boston, Michigan and Arizona... Each city was like a stopover along an inner journey. In this respect I have never been the immigrant who leaves one country and settles down in another place once and for all. And in between all these cities Istanbul has always been my point of longing. I learned a lot from multicultural, intercultural encounters and I cherish cosmopolitan culture.

• How do you research your characters, if at all?

Yes, indeed. I do a lot of research for every story, every minute detail.  I also have a background in the academia, as a political scientist. One thing that I learned from the academy is to do sincerely, honestly research every single detail. Novels are not only products of inspiration and imagination. I think they also require a lot of homework. I started writing at a very early age not because I wanted to become a novelist but because I was a very lonely and introverted child. My life was very boring and the world of imagination was more colorful and livable than the real world. The desire to become a published novelist came much later. But the need to write is essential. It underlies my whole existence.

• How and where do you raise your daughter? Why? How have you picked her name?

I am deeply attached to Istanbul. It is a She-city. Istanbul is a treasure for artists and writers. But she also suffocates me bit by bit. So time to time I run away from her, but then I miss her dearly and come back. I always come back. It is a bit like a crazy love affair. My daughter has two names Þehrazat, after the storyteller in 1001 Nights and Zelda, after Zelda Fitzgerald.

• Why do you call God a ´she´?

Actually Turkish is a gender-free language and we do not use a He or She.  I believe God is Rahman and Rahim, meaning full of compassion and love and mercy. Love is the essence of the whole creation. It is our basics.

• Do you think ´God´ is an emotional being, or above ´such ´human´ qualities or the like?

I believe in all of us, meaning all human beings without any discrimination being part of the same Divine Circle. We all have a degree of Divine Essence in us. God is within and beyond this circle. We are all interconnected. Nobody is isolated. Nothing is by itself. A writer can see that all the better  perhaps because stories too are interconnected.

• Looking at the societies you experienced, would you say they are build in respect of God, and/or femininity? Why (not)?

I believe all religions and faiths are inspired and guided by the same universal quest for God and love. All the other differences of opinion are solely on the surface. The essence is the same. One and only. 

• What place do ´emotions´ have in these systems? Do you think (wo)men are better off showing themselves as hard bully´s or insecure fragile beauties? What does this depend upon?

It depends. Sometimes women are worse in showing their feelings because they are taught to be tough in a man’s world. Especially women in politics or in the intellectual world defeminize themselves all the time in order to be respected. To be a woman does not automatically mean to be gender-conscious. Sometimes women can be very gender-blind and very patriarchal. Ironically they can also suppress each other, like older women oppressing younger women, using age and power to rule over other women.

• Are you suggesting Sufi are naturally more deep-digging liberal thinkers or omni-loving people than others, like Sunni or Westerners? What would be the defining reason for such a division?

I do not make sweeping generalizations and do not divide people into camps. All I am saying is that in today’s polarized world, it is worth knowing more about Sufism which is a strong, rich and loving alternative to fundamentalisms of all sorts. Sufism is interested in the inner journey. Inner perfection and unity. Just like Sufism, literature strives to transcend the boundaries of the Self. I do not want to anchor my writing into an identity and situate myself there. Rather I want to keep exploring. I think writers need to be forever curious and ready to discover.

• How have you managed to start becoming an independent (I presume) writer and find an audience which appreciates your work?

I see my novels as buildings with multiple doors and entrances and exits. Every reader enters from a different door. Sometimes two readers can read the same book, they can be inside the same building without ever running into each other. Reading is a constructive, active process. The reader contributes to creating the meaning. And that is different with every reader. In Turkey my books are read by a very heterogenous readership that crosscuts cultural or political boundaries. People of all sorts of walks of life. Leftists, liberals, feminists, nihilists, university students, professionals and mystics. I also have a lot of readers from conservative circles, especially many woman readers with headscarves. I like and cherish this multiplicity.
Thank you ….